Social Psychology - Praise and Favors

Question:
What does Psychology say about the effects of praise and favors? Please discuss.
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Answer:

In general, we like people who praise us or give us favors. This is true only if we perceive those praises or favors as rewards. Whether praises or favors are perceived as rewards vary across different situations and your state of mind. One determining factor is if we see an ulterior motives in the praisers or favor-doers. If we do not take the face value of a praise, we can attribute an ulterior motives to the praisers, such as he/she is being sarcastic, condescending, etc. Because we do not like to be manipulated, if the praise is too lavish, we do not find it genuine, then we come to dislike the praiser. By the same token, if we think that a favor comes with strings attached, there is a hidden agenda in the favor-givers, we will come to dislike this person. The most interesting finding is that if you want someone to like you, instead of doing him/her a favor, try to get him/her to do you a favor. This makes sense because most of us need to justify our altruism by perceiving more favorably about that person we help.

I find this phenomenon very true. I do avoid making friends with people who seem to have a hidden agenda other than friendship. My closest friends are those we do not need to worry if I need to give her back something if she give me a nice Christmas present this time, because I know she does not expect anything in return. But at the same time, I will be more willing to spend time finding a birthday present for her next time around because I like her better. There is no pressure or strings attached in a friendship that makes us like each other more.


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Another Answer:
What I find interesting about praise and favours, is that it is not universal rewards. Each of us have our own sense of what we would consider to be praiseworthy or value as a favour. Seems very reasonable when you think about it but we cannot speak about praise or favours generally, because it will mean different things to different people.

Also I found it interesting that we really "light up" when we receive praise from unexpected people, outsiders, or others. ie. the coach, or teacher, or colleague. Praise from the 'usual suspects' is a given, assumed, desired of course but predictable.
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Another Answer: I like to add that sometimes it is good too, when Praise is attached with Criticism. That means receiving not only praises but constructive criticism that could either solve problems or make the person a better person. This way it will not be too fake or sarcastic if only praise is received the same person all the time. On the other hand, a person without praise all the time would make the person rather "negative" as a whole. At the end of the day, I think we should be just ourselves...to be a truthful and honest, but of course it depends on the situation. Sometimes truth has to be hidden for protective measures... Being truthful and honest can be offensive, sometimes some truth are better left untold. I guess my rule of thumb is be truthful and honest given that I do not offend people, or step over the line. As the passage says, judgment and feeling are two very different concepts yet we always mix them together.