Question: Developmental charts plot an infants' motor development. What if an infant does not meet each milestone on schedule? What should the parents do? Should they force their child to crawl?
Answer:
Most parents are quite nervous with the motor development of their child, somehow will compare their development with other kids and view earlier development as “smart” but delayed development as “stupid”.
Of course severe delay needs close monitor, however, most of them will finally achieve, and it only depends on time.
We shouldn't force the kids' motor skills. As I do have friends forced their child to crawl or even walk. Finally affected their child in receiving the “love” from parents- which are life-long effect in how child perceive the external world, cool or with warmth; more importantly, affecting their trustworthy to others.
Answer 2:
I think babies are born to be different. It is really not necessary to compete with babies in the neighborhood. Most babies are completely normal, whether they are early or late compared to the developmental milestones. However, parents with this knowledge in mind can help their babies facilitate the development. According to dynamic system theory, parents can provide the environment that motivates them to couple their perceptions and actions. It is fun!
Things to ponder over:
If a baby crawl early or late compared to the average, does it say absolutely about the prospects of him?
Answer 3:
Developmental charts are one of the very useful tools to track the growth of children, especially for infants who are limited in their abilities to communicate. However it is not the only tool. Figures on developmental charts are derived from a large set of data and they show only the average growth rates in different aspects. We need to be aware that these are average figures. Each baby is unique, thus it is not to be alarmed when the baby’s growth is off the mark by a little, or even by a wide range. Comparing baby’s progress against the developmental chart is not a comprehensive assessment of newborns’ healthy development, it is more important to monitor their individual milestones periodically and observe if the progress is appropriate.
That said, I am not denying the usefulness of developmental charts. There are conditions in babies that would be easier to discover if we have some ideas of what the norms are in terms of infant development. Especially for first-time mother who have no experience or knowledge on what normal growth entails.
To my surprise, postpartum depression does not only apply to new mothers, but can happen to newborns. The developmental chart is useful in this instance to raise concern when baby’s growth is slightly behind the norms. But as discussed earlier, it is more important to monitor progress of the baby’ growth from time to time, as any abnormalities in development will be more apparent by comparing his or her progress.
All in all, parents should still utilize the developmental charts, but need not be alarmed if certain skills are not developed at certain phase indicated in the chart, it is more important to monitor progress of your baby on a periodic basis in determining the healthy development of the baby. Lastly it is absurd to force baby to crawl. When they are ready physically, they will do it, it is a natural process.
Answer 4:
It is very likely to have psychological impact on the baby if he or she is forced to walk, but whether there will be a permanent scar psychologically, how severe it will affect the baby's subsequent development, I believe it depends on the way the parents "force" the baby to walk.
I'd like to share an interesting personal experience, which was revealed to me by my mom lately. She told me that she went nuts when she was teaching me to write Chinese characters when I was young. She would yelled very harshly at me, and herself extremely emotional when I repeated confused left and right of the same Chinese character. Now she found it very funny because from a TV program she discovered that kids at that age are not capable of distinguishing left and right, because the cognitive ability in the brain has not yet fully developed. You ask me now if I was traumatized? I am not sure, I merely remember those instances, but I am a little over attentive to details in some cases. The point being is, parents always want the best for their kids, there is no doubt in it, but they didn't know better because the lack of understanding of the developmental progress of children. Hence, I am a avid believer of prenatal lessons.
On the physiological aspect, it is extremely detrimental to the development of baby's legs if they are forced to walk before they are ready. The bones of babies are extremely fragile. If unnatural stress are put on their legs, it inhibit the growth of the bone, bending or deformation is possible. And this will certainly leave a deep life impact, soon after the baby is grown up.
Further Thoughts:
What do you think the psychological impact on the baby would be if development is forced? Your personal example is a great reminder that educating ourselves and our patients/clients is key in understanding development and behavior to reduce anxiety.
Answer Five:
This reminds me of my brother who will force her daughter (my niece) to lift her head during proning position. Personally i think it is better to allow the baby to naturally learning themselves... I think forced development is almost the same as Spoon-feeding in an educational sense...I think the child will feel stressed and probably creativity of the child will be impaired due to "rote-learning" ?
On the other hand, the child can learn to be independent if things come naturally.
Personal monitoring is more important than peer monitoring.
Questions we should ask are: How do we monitor the child's individual milestone? What's the ideal periodic check? Is there an acceptable range for the child's independent and natural development?
Psychological impacts can be quite detrimental in terms of personality development in years to come. When parents are over-enthusiastic about the development of certain abilities, babies will try extra hard to please their parents. Yet as we've discussed, physical abilities development runs its own schedule, it isn't a matter of efforts, but as the baby forces it and not able to fulfill the expectations of parents. The baby may develop sense of guilt, that can lead to low self-esteem, in the future may become fearful of taking up new challenges because they believe they are doomed to failure. The baby may also get confused, and cannot distinguish between unattainable goals due to physical limitations and achievable ones, thus put too much emphasis on failure. All of these could place tremendous psychological stress on the baby and the development of personality in years ahead.
In HK, there are many parents like to set "the road" and nearly everything for their children. Have you read a book called, "Children in HK"? It depicts the characteristics of the children in middle-class families.
1) No motivation as parents fix what they do and like.
2) No sense of responbility as parents will fix their fault for them.
3) No care about others as parents let them do their ways since birth.
and etc......
Earlier Generations' parents are not aware of developmental milestones.
Addtional Thoughts on Hong Kong's Educational System:
Teachers seem to be spending most of their time on administrative work rather than spending time with the kids. Although the payscale for teachers are generally decent, but there's a whopping huge pressure for them. International Schools in HK seem to be better off, however, too much freedom through creativity is also disastrous such as deconstructing what has been taught, etc. I believe there is huge demand for counseling in the educational sector as kids are facing more and more problems and pressure from every dimension. Whether we like it or not, the forceful attempt to develop the kid will inevitably scar him/her for life...
Answer Six:
In answer to the question, 'what if an infant does not meet each milestone on schedule? What should the parents do?'
As has been stated earlier these milestones are guides to help the parents monitor development. If the child has not met the 'benchmark' then at some point they need to go and get some professional advice. ie therapists, speech, OT's, pediatricians, need to be brought in and the child assessed properly. There are times when there are real needs that need to be addressed. i know of several who have had assessments and are getting help.
Should parents force their child to crawl? Literally, no. As much as we would like to help, change the situation of the child we cannot, we can only walk with them through treatment. This can be very difficult for parents to come to grips with. As stated, we live in a high achieving, highly competitive society and for those who struggle options are limited.
Speaking of resources, has anyone read, Under Pressure by Honore? It is a good read. He interviews many school headmasters, parents around the world, including HK, and discusses the tremendous pressure we are putting on ourselves and on our children. (it always nice to read about 'famous' schools we all know in HK and have it compared with others globally)
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