Parenting Types that involve the Socioemotional Development in Early Childhood

Question: What are the types of parenting? Which parenting model would best describe how you were parented and how you parent today (if you are one)? What were the effects of such parenting model?


Answer:
There are mainly four types of parenting styles.
(1) Authoritative - Parents would encourage the child to be independent but limits and controls the child's actions. Encourages the child's social competence.

(2) Authoritarian: Parent's would act restrictrive and impose punishment on child. Leads to social incompetence.

(3) Indulgent: Parents are involved with the child without any act of controlling and demands. Leads to social incompetence.
(4) Neglectful: Parents are absolutely neglectful in the child's life. Leads to social incompetence.


I think I was brought up under the 2) Authoritarian style. And I could sense that I do suffer some kind of social incompetence during the key stages of my childhood life. My parents would scold me harshly or use a rod to cain me when I was naughty. This in a way, inhibit my creativity and independence. Furthermore, I have an older brother,which just made things worse. Everything to me, was spoon-fed.


If I were a parent (I still don't have kids but i am hoping for one soon), I would certainly utilize (1) Authoritative style of parenting. I think the child needs to learn independence under a parental-controlled environment, since parents can never take care of them forever.

Answer Two:

My parent adopted various styles to nurture us in the family. They expected us to obey rules without question in the discipline aspect. However, they had little interests in our education due to their little knowledge or know-how to help us. At the beginning of my adolescence, I found myself weak in communication low in self-esteem. It takes me a long time to overcome.

Ideally, I would choose to be authoritative parents who not only exercise firm control of his behavior but also emphasize his individuality. First of all, I and my wife will set strict standards for my child’s behaviors, especially those in the household. We will explain why some behaviors are allowed and others are not. These rules are enforced consistently between us so that he can not identify the gray zone to fool around. In certain cases, we will let him join the discussion and make discussion for the group. (e.g. picnic or after-school activity) Hopefully, my child will be more cheerful, self-reliant and self confident. When he grows up, he can get along well with peers and adults.

Answer Three:
My parents adopted a mix of parenting styles at different stage of my development. While I was in primary school, it was mostly authoritarian, especially in the academic arena, strong emotional punishment was imposed. Not attaining perfect score for each subject will result in strong emotional response from my mom, from anger to frustration and manifested into behavioral aspect including scolding and crying. I believe that has significant influenced my development of identity as a young child. It felt almost impossible to attain to my mom's standard.

However, I was amazed at her fast my mom recognized the result of authoritarian parenting style, and deliberately took a totally different approach in with my sister who is three years younger. It was mostly authoritative, and strongly encourage social competent. My sister turns out to have a more relaxed personality than I do. She tends to get along with other people more easily. I believe both genetic and environmental factors have played important roles in our development.



Thoughts on Parenting Styles

It is interesting that parents change their parenting style for each sibling. Obviously that would have effects and impact each of the children. I have heard others who have experienced such parenting differences.

Yes I too believe genetics and the environmental are instrumental on our development.


Further Questions:
Parents may be more strict with their first child and more lenient with the youngest child. Why do you think that is so? How do you think that impacts development and sibling relationships?

Answer Four:
Perhaps one reason is because after the first child, the parents have acquired the first-hand experience, plus the elder should act as a role-model, more like indirect-teaching to the 2nd or youngest...

In a way, I think the eldest child grows to be very independent while the youngest will be more dependent since he or she could lean on the other (older) sibling/s. However, the eldest child might unknowingly develop too much self-esteem (Pride) and bully the younger ones. Also, the youngest,on the other hand, might grow the risk of social incompetence, lack of confidence and probably inferiority complex as well.

Parents are learning too and often are reading a book and trying to figure things out as they go along. A real strive and desire to be a good parent. Meanwhile parents feel more confident for the younger child, and when they are less stressed, the child is less stressed. They also discover what they can and can't get away with. Parents are older and tired too, they become more flexible. I think sibling relationship is at play as well as gender, some parents may have higher expectations on one gender, often the boys.